I Said I’d Never


My sweet boy,

As the months are going by so quickly, and your second birthday is approaching, I’m finding myself getting a little nostalgic and missing the days when you were so small. You needed me for everything and now you need me for less and less with every day.

Before you were born, and before I knew what it meant to be a mom, I always said I’d never rock my baby to sleep. It was my opinion that babies needed to learn how to fall asleep on their own and not be dependent on their mom or dad. Once you arrived I realized that rocking your baby to sleep is more for the parent not for the child. It’s those extra couple moments of quiet that you can steal away from how quickly tomorrow will arrive. The ability to take in everything about that moment because tomorrow you will be another day older.

Well, baby boy, you are an active and wiggly little boy and there aren’t too many nights that you will just lay on my shoulder and fall asleep while we rock. I appreciate the time we have at night though to sing songs and practice animal sounds and pointing to body parts, but it’s not quite the same as before.

Tonight , however, you were so tired (maybe you should have taken that dang nap silly boy!) and for a change you literally collapsed in my arms, head on my chest, snuggled up and instantly fell asleep. I took the opportunity to sit with you in the rocking chair and rock you while you slept.

My arms were going numb and your hair was tickling my nose but I couldn’t bear to move, for fear of waking you and ruining this precious moment. Eventually I had to make the move to put you in your crib and when I did, your eyes popped open. As I laid you gently down in your crib, you gave me a little smile and fell back to sleep. Almost as if you knew that was what I needed most tonight.

Thank you my baby. That was exactly what I needed tonight indeed.


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  1. I love the moments I spend rocking my daughter. She’s grown so much over this year… from 6 months to 17 months. It’s a huge difference from Jan until now.

  2. I have been pretty emotional today, but this brought tears to my eyes! I couldn’t have said it better myself. My 5 month old rarely lets me rock him to sleep but I cherish those sweet rare moments. Thanks so much for sharing!

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