The last few weeks I’ve had a few people tell me that I’m a really great mother. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t disagree, but when someone tells me that it makes me a little uncomfortable and I don’t know how to respond. Truth of the matter is… I do love being told that because I AM a really great mother. I’m a totally AMAZING mother. I have an entirely new level of stubbornness and perseverance that I never knew was possible until I had my son. However, it makes me uncomfortable because I don’t have any other choice but to be the mother I am. I didn’t choose to be this way…my son needs me to be this kind of a mother and so that’s what I’m doing.
Way back when, I researched, studied, learned everything I possibly could about Reproductive Endocrinology while trying to get pregnant, so much so that I was asked by physicians on multiple occasions if I was in the medical field. It was funny to tell them I was only an administrative assistant….yet could spout off medical terms and diagnosis and have questions that made them really think. It was worth it though because along the way to bringing my son home, (and even still) I was able to be a helpful tool to friends and people I met through social media and my blog going through infertility that didn’t understand what their doctors were telling them and just needed someone to be there for them.
Now, a few years down the road, Here I am again….researching, studying, and learning as much as humanly possible, creating hypotheses about a possible diagnosis yet again in order to give my son the best chance of success. I’m honestly very frustrated with this whole ordeal if I’m laying out 100% truth out there. I’m mentally and emotionally tired. Just plain tired. This is all uncharted territory to me and each specialist that we end up seeing sends me right back to Dr. Google.
The only thing that keeps me going is that blue eyed boy that may not talk yet, but yells “Mama!!!” in the morning when I go to wake him up. Parenting may not be as I pictured in my head years ago but now I couldn’t picture my life any other way, tired and exhausted or not. Besides that blue eyed boy, another way to spin my negativity into something positive is to utilize my current blog like I did years ago and try to reach other moms out there who are also just plain tired.
My son will be three in March and we will soon be having him evaluated for the developmental preschool in town. I’m really looking forward to having him attend as I think having daily interaction with educational professionals is really going to help him progress quicker. We love all of his Early Intervention therapists, they are really all amazing to work with and love him I can tell, but he only sees them for an hour each once a week.
We also just started the process of getting a medical diagnostic done to screen him for autism. There are days that I’m confident he is not on the spectrum at all yet other days I’m concerned. Concerned enough so to be taking him to this screening.
There are three good things about having this done now…
1) he is under 3 so it is no cost to us
2) if he is on the spectrum this will only help us be able to get him the proper therapy and services he needs to learn
3) if he is NOT on the spectrum then hopefully they can offer some suggestions on the path we should take with him.
We should have that completed before Christmas so stay tuned for an update on how the diagnostic all goes and what the results are!
If you are a parent or care giver who has found yourself here to find sensory fun ideas, please join my email list to keep up to date on us! Send me a message to say hello… I always like hearing from other parents on what has worked best for their kids.
What’s next for us? Stay tuned…..
I’m currently working on a blog post about the sensory themed play space I made for my son! I think it’s really amazing and I can’t wait to share it with you!!
Why is this blog post titles 00000poop?
My son got a hold of my laptop while I was drafting this post and decided to leave me a message in the subject line. I’m assuming this was coincidence that he typed poop but …. maybe he is a silent genius? haha….ok probably coincidence. I figured, he wanted me to name my blog post poop so that is what I’m doing.